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Curse My Name

from Hollows by City Mouth

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lyrics

I slept on the floor, I knew that it was coming
And I think I destroyed the lining in my stomach
And I almost thought I would stay, you said you only sleep alone

You drove me home, your eyes bitter and vacant
Cause we settled for sex and awkward conversation
And I think indiana likes to keep the lonely feeling low

And summer turns to fall
And still I’ll say it’s not my fault
But it is, and the world still spins whether I’m alright or not
So I’ll lash out and call it art cause that’s the best defense I’ve got

I swear I heard my name before I heard
the subject change
You’re staring at the floor and
I’m still wasting energy on
Shaking, pacing inner demons
And shame is nothing but pursuit of grace
I’d rather push them both away
And I say I hate this place but
I sit in my decay delaying change

I still excel at acting like an innocent
If you take the blame I’ll hide from any criticism
I went away and kept making incisions in your brain

Consider the cost of not letting you walk away
I guess it’s my loss, I never said that I was sane and
We’ll turn to dust like moths and I will still haunt this place

And the notes will descend like snow
And the words will make you cry
I’ll be a ghost of my old habits and I’ll swear I’m right this time

I swear I heard my name before I heard
the subject change
You’re staring at the floor and
I’m still wasting energy on
Shaking, pacing inner demons
And shame is nothing but pursuit of grace
I talk to God every day
He doesn’t know my name and
I don’t have faith but it helps me still to

Pray I’ll figure out how this’ll pan out
And i’m afraid, but not enough to shut my damn mouth
My patience ran out

You know it feels kind of stupid to feel lonely
When I just keep pushing away
And I can’t count all the people that I’ve let down
I’ve made a mess, I know I’ve made a mess
You know it feels pretty useless
You’re the only one I just keep failing to save
And I can picture you crying in your bedroom
I’ve made a mess, I know I’ve made a mess
I always make a mess

I swear I heard my name before I heard
the subject change
You’re staring at the floor and
I’m still wasting energy on
Shaking, pacing inner demons
And shame is nothing but pursuit of grace
It’s like we’ve been awake for days
And I hear you curse my name but
The damn thing never fit me anyway

credits

from Hollows, released April 13, 2018

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City Mouth Phoenix, Arizona

Matt Pow and friends!

A pop punk/indie pop band from Chicago and Phoenix.

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